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Writer's pictureTim Herd

Nobody's Perfect: Giving Yourself Grace

If you’re reading this, I want to let you know that it is okay not to be okay. You don’t have to have it together all the time, you don’t have to always be right, and you don’t always have to have an answer. So often we have this belief that we need to have it all together, and that we need to be perfect 24/7. This belief is one that derives from a society which strives for perfection with little regard to real feelings or emotions. This common perception is flawed, and the truth is that it IS okay to not always have everything together while you strive for greatness. We are humans, and one thing we have to do is be honest with ourselves and where we are currently at mentally. Transparency is an attribute that is often not so clear, and if it becomes cloudy within yourself, then it becomes even cloudier when interacting with other people. That door of transparency, especially with yourself, is a door that should always be open. Don’t close the door on yourself, because if you do that, then you are shutting the door on your feelings and emotions. Your feelings and emotions need attention, and if you set them aside, they will eventually accumulate into something that breaks open that door. That is why it is important to continually acknowledge where you currently are mentally, physically, and spiritually. This breakdown could range from full breakdowns in public spaces to turning to vices to meditate or “medicate” in a way. The latter only leads to further issues, because in this case you never fully address your feelings, you just pacify them. 


That is why it is important to take some time to acknowledge your feelings and spend some time self-reflecting. True happiness comes from inside, but that can only happen if take the time to identify how you are feeling and where you are at in your life. Understanding and articulating your emotions is an important piece of developing high emotional intelligence, which simply is the ability to understand and voice your emotions. It is also important to have a group of people whom you can trust and reach out to when you are not feeling your best, whether it be family, friends, mentors, or somebody you trust. 


You have to treat your mind and body with the same care and focus that you would give to something that is really important in your life, such as your schooling or your job. You wouldn’t leave your job without completing the work necessary to complete for the day, so why would you leave the house without completing the internal work necessary to fully enjoy life. You have to do the work to develop this high emotional intelligence, because the more you are able to control your emotions and understand yourself, the less effect the outside world has on you, because you will have power over yourself. It’s okay not to be okay; when you find yourself at that state of mind you have to acknowledge it, accept it, grow from it, and transcend beyond the moment when you are ready.


Tips For Developing High Emotional Intelligence 

Journaling out your feelings on a daily basis 

Talking to people you trust about how you feel 

Be mindful of your vocabulary 

Bounce back from adversity 


More Tips to Developing High Emotional Intelligence: 

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