Did you know that thinking positively is a necessary attribute to experiencing happiness? One thing I have repeatedly seen throughout my life are people consistently being their biggest critic, a pitfall that leads to negative thoughts and low self-confidence among other things associated with a negative connotation. Unfortunately, through being your biggest critic, you can become your own worst enemy. This happens as you begin to doubt your skills and what you bring to the table, thus dimming the light that you were given to shine not only for yourself, but for everyone. Thoughts derive such as “I’m not good enough”, or “I should be able to do this better”, or “I can’t”. If these are ways in which you begin your sentences, practicing affirmations such as “I know I can”, or “I will”, or “I am good enough” are great ways to reverse these negative perspective. There is power in the tongue and in your thoughts, and you have to be careful how you deliver your messages! You know that saying, “The only person stopping you is you”? On one hand, this statement disregards your current situation and the obstacles that are in your way. On another hand (and in a more positive perspective), this statement concludes that regardless of your current circumstances, you can get where you want to get in life as the only person stopping you is you. As a Black male, I acknowledge the myth of meritocracy (pull yourself up by your own boot straps & working hard) is an idea that has constantly been perpetuated onto groups of people who have been historically disadvantaged. The rebuttal to this is “How are you going to pull yourself up by your own bootstraps if you don’t even have boots”? I agree wholeheartedly with this statement, but I also agree with the power of positive thinking. Regardless of socioeconomic status or race, you have the power to control your thoughts. Nobody can take your thoughts away from you or control how you respond to them unless you give them the power to. By practicing positive thinking, you not only take autonomy over your mind, but in a way, you take autonomy over your life.
The definition of critic is “A person who expresses an unfavorable opinion of something”. If you are your biggest critic, and always expressing an unfavorable opinion about yourself, then in a way you are beating yourself down. It’s about perspective, and by all means I believe that you can be hard on yourself, but you also have to give yourself a level of grace as well. If I repeatedly told myself that I could do better without acknowledging the growth and effort that I was receiving and giving, I would not be happy in my life, regardless of material possessions. True happiness comes from inside, and that can only happen if you are truly happy. Some of the best non-verbal advice I ever received were through my observations of the actions of others: those who consistently thought positively, and those who consistently thought negatively. The advice I received through observing both groups actions was that you can be your biggest enemy or your biggest supporter, but you have to choose. For me, I had to take a look in the mirror, because it is easy to point the finger at others when they are messing up, but it is much harder to point the finger at yourself. Up until I entered college I felt that I was my biggest enemy, always second guessing myself and not feeling confident in my capabilities and what I brought to the table. I have always had supportive and positive parents, and that for me is the reason in which I am in the situation that I currently am in life. But in highschool, even though I appeared to have it all together in the classroom and on my sports teams, my thinking could not have been any more negative.
It was not until I got to college that positive thinking really became a part of my everyday life. For me, this positive thinking stemmed first from developing a personal relationship with God, and surrounding myself around positive people who remained hopeful even in the most obsolete circumstances. The saying “you are who you hang around” is a very true statement, and it is also true that you can attract like-minded people. So take ownership over your mind and thoughts, begin or continue to practice positive thinking, and if you need help, I am here, so reach out. Nobody can do it alone, it takes a village. A village who will uplift you, celebrate you, and also be real with you. The power of positive thinking goes a long way.
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