What I Learned In Undergrad

Now that I am done with my undergraduate career at Michigan State University, I can now do some reflection on my experiences and things that I learned in my four and a half years as a student here. While this is not an exhaustive list, it does have many of the big things I learned in college. I also know that this is a lot, so feel free to skim through, but I ask that you take at least one thing away from this. If you want to talk more about this or even share your own experiences, feel free to hit me up!!

Embrace the hard work: Throughout my undergraduate experience, I took many classes that I did not feel like working on at all, from many of my TE courses to GEO333 and HST201 (Vietnamese history). Even though I did not enjoy this, I put my best foot forward and stayed on top of my game because it was important to me.

Develop a Plan and Execute: The summer of my sophomore year in Summer Research Opportunities Program, I used my experiences from the past two years to develop the outline of Rising Black Men. This organization changed my life in so many ways, from my perspective in how I thought, to dealing with people. The majority of lessons and opportunities that I was afforded in college, I was afforded through this organization. It also led me to be in the library my junior year almost every day for at least 5 hours at a time, because I had a vision and I needed to put work in in order to execute this vision. This was a critical time in my life, because it was through these late nights and early mornings that my passion and purpose became to come clear, and after our first Learning Objective (meeting), my vision was affirmed. I was pretty much on tunnel vision during this portion of my undergrad career, because my vision was clear, and nothing was going to stop me from achieving my passion, which is something I can proudly say I achieved. I also know that the work is just beginning, and I have so much to learn in life and as I continue to grow.

You Never Stop Growing: If you feel like you have reached the final level, you are lying to yourself. You never stop growing, I repeat, YOU NEVER STOP GROWING!!

Reflect, Reflect, reflect: You can never reflect enough, and as a person who would usually go headfirst into things, it was beneficial for me to reflect on where I was

Just Go for It: Similar to this idea of just shooting your shot, it is important to just go for whatever you have been thinking about. Life is short, and you never know when your last day will be, so get to it. For me, I used this mindset of just going for it with

Try Something New: Becoming an Intercultural-Aide my sophomore year was my saving grace for me. I had just really grown out of the shadow of an unhealthy relationship of my freshman year, and I began to come out of the shell that I had felt confined to my entire freshman year. That shell that came from that relationship and just my own thoughts, being my biggest enemy or critic (and not in a positive way!).

Shake It off: There were many times when I didn’t get a text back from that girl I liked, and even though this was frustrating, I had to shake it off. Sometimes I would try to smile and act like everything was all good, but deep down I was like man, if I was to give this girl or many of my “friends” the same energy they gave me, I damn near might not have any friends or interests. There were also times where I learned that people weren’t supporting me or had my best interests like I had for them, and that really hurt, especially people whom I trusted. In terms of creating Rising Black Men, there were so many times that I would hear people tell me they supported me and would come support in different capacities, but they never showed up. At the beginning, this would eat me up, because I am big on following through with your word, but then I developed callouses in regard to this. This was big for me, because if I hadn’t, I probably would have given up on Rising Black Men. It always seemed like I would go above and beyond with nurturing relationships, but at a certain point, probably my junior year, I had an epiphany that I was going to put the same amount of energy in everything and just let it ride. There are going to be some hard times, whether you are in college or not, but as a college student, I can vouch that I had many a hard time. With me, however, I addressed these hard times with my head held high, prayed to God, and worked my way through the situation. This could also co-exist with the consistency piece as well.

Express Yourself: Prior to college, I would usually hold anything in, both negative and positive. I wanted to display this certain level of poise, but F THAT!! You gotta express yourself!! The more I began to express myself, the more I began to feel, both the joy and the pain. However, it was usually more joy than pain, and this helped me become better at articulating myself and developing a higher emotional intelligence. This has also served beneficial to me in maintaining friendships and even acquaintances, because one thing I will always do is communicate and express myself, in a respectful way of course, but you never have to wonder what I am thinking, because I am going to tell you.

Use that Hurt to Help You: This is definitely a piece of advice that I learned in college. From not getting the grades that I wanted my first year of college, to dealing with heartbreak and anger from that situation my junior year. While these two things were definitely two of the most difficult situations for me, I stayed the course, journaled and voiced my feelings to God, and continued to Grind. I think that is why the library became my best friend my junior year, it was a place of refuge, a place I would go every day for almost two years straight to just put in work, think, and put in more work. That is why my favorite thing to do is just work, and in some capacity, I am always working to be a better Tim.

Ask for Help: One thing I learned early in college was that you cannot do it alone. I repeat, YOU CANNOT DO IT ALONE! You need to have a support system, because college is re

Be Proactive, Not Reactive: My freshman year, coming from an all-White high school where I was this exceptional Black male student-athlete, I was used to people coming up to me and attempting to have conversation. This, however, was not the case in college, and this was shown almost immediately. It was in college where the saying “closed mouths don’t get fed” really started to mean something to me.

Owning Up to Mistakes: I also know that I was not perfect during my undergraduate time, and there was a time where I could even be considered a player. However, I knew that this wasn’t for me, and I also knew in my heart that honesty was the best policy, so by the middle of my sophomore year, I started being open and honest with any of my interests and people I would talk to and just letting them know where I was at. It was also sophomore year that I began to take ownership of my actions and not blame anybody else for anything, because nobody can make you do anything you don’t want to do.

Discipline: This is key. The more discipline you have, the more freedom you have. An e

Control What You Can Control: There is going to be so much that comes your way in which you can’t control, but there is also going to be things that you can control. For example, one of the biggest thing for me in college that I learned was that nobody can make me feel a way unless I give them power to, and although this was easier said than done, I had so many experiences where people did things that I did not expect or were infuriating that I just started RECLAIMING MY TIME and GIVING THOSE SITUATIONS POWER OVER ME. I had things to do, and if it wasn’t going to help me advance to my next step, then there was no need to dwell on it. Just controlling what I can control was important. The biggest example I can give of this was my junior year, where my residents were super loud day and night, I was dealing with heartbreak, classes were tough on me 24/7 & grades were struggling, and I had just started RBM, so there was so much work to do to get it up and running. I couldn’t control my residents after a while or the way my heart was responding, but I could control the amount of time I spent studying and working on RBM, and I did. So, after the end of a very chaotic year, I ended up again on Dean’s List and Student Organization of the Year in my first year. This is only one example of controlling what you can control, but it’s one that stands out for me.

Respect is a Two-Way Street: I don’t care what level you think you’re at in life, you have to give respect in order to get it. Whether you’re a senior who thinks your Mr. or Ms. Bigtime, and you’re talking with a freshman, give them the same respect that you would give the CEO of a Fortune 500 company. I would do this with everybody, because you never know what people are going through or who you are talking to, and it’s important to give them respect and not just think that a title is going to give you respect.

Consistency is Key: This is so important, and this is a foundational component to everything. An example would again be creating RBM or Uplift (RRR), at the beginning of both of these people questioned why I did this. But, after time, people began to acknowledge my consistency and the impact they saw it having. So, if you’re going to be or do anything, be consistent with it, that’s how you get results.

Don’t Be Your Biggest Enemy: There is nothing wrong with critiquing yourself in order to be a better you, but being too critical without having that balance is a no-no.

Karma Is Real: This is important because it reiterates this idea of doing to others unto yourself. This type of idea can be seen in the Holy Bible and across many other areas, and this is something I try my best to live by. I always try to treat others how I would want to be treated, and this is the biggest reason that I don’t carry myself in an arrogant manner but rather show love to everybody, because I want people to show love to me.