Now that a week has fully passed since taking my last final, I have had a little time to reflect on my doctoral experience. Even though I do a lot of smiling and dancing on social media, I’m just going to let you know at the top of this blog and runaway sentence that this PhD program ain’t easy! This PhD program has been HARD!! While I am grateful and acknowledge the privilege that comes being in this position, I also know the significant amounts of work that it has taken to get here. Sometimes I feel like I’m on autopilot because it just feels like work, work, and more work.
HOWEVER, with all that being said, I also know how blessed I am to be in this space. I also know that it was not my own merit alone that has allowed me to occupy this current position. I smile and dance in spite of the difficulties of the program because I know that it is all for a purpose and has still been some of the best times of my life thus far. As someone rooted within their faith, I give that credit to God and my community that has helped raise me, continuously pour into me, and continuously loves me.
Coming from a tradition of paying it forward, I thought it would be helpful to share some of the experiences that really stuck with me this year for folks entering a PhD, who are currently in the process of pursuing a PhD, or just curious about the experiences of a PhD student.
Remember Your Why
There were times this year when I had to take moments to really deeply reflect and think about my reasoning for pursuing this PhD. For me I know that this PhD is a tool that I want to use to empower my community and also advocate for folks that do not currently have access to these spaces. My intention for pursuing a PhD was very service-oriented decision, and knowing that I am doing week directly connected to my community and the people that I advocate for is truly important. Additionally, for me I just think of my ancestors and my family members that sacrificed so much for me to even occupy the spaces that I currently hold. I am here because of them, I am fully in appreciation to them, I am forever indebted to them, and the best way I know how to navigate this PhD program is to persist and pay it forward.
Change Your Perspective, Change Your Outcome
Entering into my program, it was important for me to just hit the ground running in all areas. Not because I was in competition with anyone, as I only compete with myself, but really because there was so much to explore within LA! Coming from the Midwest, I was ready to make my mark here on the West Coast. This meant meeting folks both inside and outside the academy.
After an over a year & a half being here, I have come across all types of people. With meeting all types of people means engaging with all types of energies and folks in different places in life. For me, this idea of “treating people the way you want to be treated” has served as a guiding light in times that seemed to be clouded by cynicism & frustration generated from challenging situations. My mindset has been one of not viewing situations as “negative”, but rather as a “learning experience” in which you can improve and build upon. This has helped me TREMENDOUSLY in navigating my PhD journey and all that has come with it.
One Step At A Time
One key concept I grasped onto this year was the idea that slow motion is better than no motion. As a PhD student, the worklist that you have can become so extensive that it can cause sensory overload, leaving you in a paralysis-like state. Just taking things little by little is an important step in attempting to expand. As someone that further immersed themselves this year into research, consulting, and entertainment via gameshows & film, there would be times where I felt like I did not want to move. Something that was helpful for me during that time would be to get at least one thing done of my daily checklist and then go from there. Other times when I felt too overwhelmed I would just get up and go for a run to clear my head, or take a dance break.
Do For Self, Do For Others
While service is a central component of me, I also know that you cannot pour from an empty cup. In this program, I have had found helpful things to help me sustain the rigor of the program. Some of these things have included running my 4 miles 15 times a month, dancing, and teaching myself new things like new recipes! Over time, folks begin to build their own strategies to combat the mental fatigue & exhaustion that PhD programs can potentially bring. I also know that while these are some of the practices that I currently do to sustain myself, they could also evolve, and I acknowledge this. Also, being a fanatic about growth, the only constant you begin to realize is change. This idea has crystallized for me through years of daily journals and other reflections where I am able to visually and viscerally chart my own development.
The more you level up in general, the more your self-care has to level up. As I have continued to progress in different areas, I realize that I have also had to increase my self-care as well. This has included making sure I drink more water, schedule regular check-ups with my doctor, and eating more green foods.
Additionally, finding places to exercise my creativity has always helped me to be able to better serve others. Finding mediums to control your own narrative and freedom, otherwise someone else will tell your story. Whether that be through blogging, dancing, or whatever, tap into your creativity in outlets in which help you feel free.
Rejection Is Part of The Process
This year I felt like I was rejected from more things that I have ever been rejected in my life. But as all my people of the faith would say, man’s rejection is God’s protection! From academic fellowships to major tv castings to conference proposals to life-changing positions, this academic year was full of rejections. Even so, I live by the code you miss 100% of the shots that you do not take, so I still always take my chances. There is a saying that the more practice you have with anything, the better you get at it. Well consider me a professional, because I definitely got my fair share of practice this year!! More importantly, rejection at this point in my life does not bother me nearly as much as the impending curiosity from not taking a chance would.
Over the years, I have also grown to believe in the mantra that “everything happens for a reason”. This concept is something that has brought me considerable comfort in the face of rejection, along with the belief that “what is meant for you will be for you”. These ideas are guiding fixtures not only in my journey within the academy, but also within my journey in life.
Developing Your Connections:
For me I live by the saying, Ubuntu, which means “I am because we are”. It is a fact when people say it takes a village, but it can be difficult in identifying & consistently developing that village. Being at an institution like the University of California, Los Angeles (UCLA), there are lots of people that have landed in prestigious jobs and have received amazing opportunities as well from the work.
Tapping into that network was something that I have and continue to do. I also do that for both of my alma maters, MSU & UPenn, and have been able to develop and sustain some amazing relationships with the most incredible folks. As someone who cares deeply about community, and also someone that knows how PhD programs can be isolating, finding your community and having good folks in your corner that care about you is invaluable.
I’ll catch you next post! Until then, drink water, stretch, and spread love!
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