The third year of my PhD journey has been one filled with a significant amount of lessons. It has also been one in which I have had some of my most exciting experiences. While the PhD program can be an amazing space, it can also be a very dispiriting process that leaves you jaded and disillusioned. These lessons in particular were things that allowed me to maintain my joy and peace in the midst of all the work, knowing that there are amazing opportunities within this space that I have been afforded and will continue to be afforded moving forward.
Find Your Rhythm
When you finish coursework in your PhD program, you begin to get some of your time back. For some, this can be overwhelming, as you have to find that you now potentially have a substantial amount of time to immerse yourself in so many different activities outside of school. At the same time, however, you also begin to work towards your dissertation. Whether you are TA’in or working on projects outside the academy, finding that rhythm is outside of coursework is very important. Coming into year three and knowing that I would be finished with classes was very exciting to me, because I had been taking classes nonstop for over 21 years! This allowed me to really reflect on who I was outside of classes, which has been an intentional act that I have continued to do each year to remind myself that I am more than the degrees. One of the things that helped me find my rhythm was sticking to some of my regular routines, which included running my four miles every other day, 100 push-ups every morning, and journaling every night amongst other things. While there are so many different things you could do, having a few anchoring actions can help build your rhythm in the midst of constant change. This year, in particular, was one of constant change.
Build Your Community
The PhD journey within itself can be an isolating experience, but these feelings can become even more magnified once you finish coursework. For me, a big component of this program was making sure that I also had community as I believe that no one does anything all alone. With the additional time, this year saw me really begin to invest within one of my biggest reasons that I do the research that I do, my community back home. This looked like establishing the Grosse Pointe Black Alumni Association for my community back home, an initiative that had been on my heart. One that I had now finally felt that I had enough amount of time to actually embark upon. I also talk about being the change that you want to see, and I felt that I now had enough time to really begin investing some of the resources and skills back into my community.
As someone that has consistently discussed the importance of community, I also collaborated with a friend and colleague to create the Doctoral Student Writing Collective in late January of this year. This space was developed to help support other doctoral students, with a specific focus on Black and Brown students, through the mediums of weekly writing sessions, mentorship, and resources amongst other things. This group in particular has been an extreme blessing in the ways that we have shown up within this group, and it has continued to expand, reaching over 300 PhD students.
Another important community outside of GPBAA and DSWC was the Gathering Spot, where I began to build relationships and connections with other professionals outside of the PhD program. This has been another invaluable space where I have received encouragement and support from folks to continue going strong. It has also been a space where I have been able to complete a significant portion of my dissertation writing.
Embrace The Journey
This is mental, physical, and spiritual work that causes you to really extend yourself, as you are putting yourself out there in more ways than one. I would think about the countless hours I would spend at the Gathering Spot each day writing my first three chapters of my dissertation, thinking about all the change I want to implement and ways to build upon the current work. I would also think about all the challenges that I had overcome to be in the current position that I am now in, and this would often add context to help me reframe how I navigated difficult decisions. I also would remind myself that this will probably be one of the last times in my life that I will have the ability to just read and write, so for me really leaning into this was important. This journey has been difficult in so many ways, but it has also been one of the most fruitful experiences that I have had thus far in my life. I also know that I will probably not read as extensively in such a short amount of time than I currently am doing, and although it has been a substantial amount, it has also been extremely informative. The knowledge and insights that I have accumulated within this journey I have also been able to apply to my life outside the academy in different ways, which have also been valuable.
Give Yourself Some Grace
There are going to be times when you should be doing more academically, but you have to give yourself grace. I always say that you can either be your biggest supporter or biggest enemy, but it is up to you to make this decision. For me, I continuously choose to be my biggest supporter, and with that, I know that I have to give myself some grace in the process. This for me is a reminder of my faith, as I am a big believer of doing the best that I can and then letting God handle the rest, which He always does. I also know the grace that God extends upon me, so I attempt to embody with myself and others, as I aim to treat people how I would want to be treated. There were sometimes when I would have a checklist of all the work that I would want to complete, and sometimes I would not be able to get to everything. Instead of beating myself up and being disappointed about what I did not accomplish, I would have to remind myself of the things that I did accomplish. As someone with type-A tendencies, I always want things to be perfect, but I had to remind myself that what I was able to accomplish within that day was enough.
Remember Your Why
This is something that I frequently reminded myself this year, because it felt that this year in particular was more challenging in that regard. Not one time before this year did I ever feel that I wanted to leave my program, but this academic year definitely had me asking myself about the value of this program a few times. In particular, one of my biggest challenges this year was attempting to schedule my defense for my dissertation proposal. While I intended to defend prior to summer, I now have to defend in the Fall. This for me felt like a gut punch, especially considering all the time and energy that I had put into completing the first three of my chapters and the plans of celebration that I had stored up upon its completion. While I do not know the reasoning behind this, I do know that God has a plan for everything, and this frustrating experience will work out in my favor. I also learned that this was actually not an uncommon experience, as many of my colleagues that have completed their programs also informed me that this situation occurred with them as well. In the midst of extreme frustration, this led me to voice my ideas about how this should not be the norm, but it also reminded me of my why. In the midst of this challenge and others, I would reflect on who I my reasoning behind wanting to earn my PhD. I was doing this for a younger Tim, when I was a 12-year-old Black male navigating majority white spaces in an area that did not feel welcoming. I am doing this for my family, who has poured so much in to me and still continues to pour into me. I am doing this for my community, to show the importance of representation and also the value of what this degree affords. I am doing this for my friends, and to have a larger platform to continue being the change that I want to see. While this PhD has been challenging, it has definitely been worth it. Now, I am almost at the finish line!
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